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Flirting for Fun and Profit: Secrets to Convention Success & Small Press Publishing with Thomas Gondolfi from TANSTAAFL Press

Exploring a Universe of Steampunk Witches, Cyberpunk Chaos, and Armed Teddy Bears

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homas Gondolfi, a Renaissance man, gamer, and certified flirt, has been generating fiction for over 25 years. Most of his short stories have been commissioned for integration into gaming products such as Babylon 5 Wars and Star Fleet Battles, and he has edited apocalyptic anthologies. In the year 2012, Tom initiated his transition from the high-tech jungle by establishing TANSTAAFL Press to disseminate his steampunk and cyberpunk works and those of other prolific science fiction and fantasy authors. TANSTAAFL Press offers tales of demons, fairies, sorceresses, witches, and armed teddy bears. Let’s acquire some publishing tips or simply enjoy the exhilarating journey that is about to begin.


If you love sci-fi, fantasy, and a dose of the bizarre, this conversation is a must-watch!

BOOM: Thank you. Thank you very much. Greetings, Tom. Thank you for coming on the show.

Thomas: Well, thanks for having me.

BOOM: You’re welcome. Fairies, kingdoms, steampunk, aliens, cyberpunk, demons, apocalypses, and teddy bears with assault rifles. That is quite a collection of stories you have there. What got TANSTAAFL Press started?

Thomas: TANSTAAFL Press started as a way to drain my brain of the weird and twisted things that I dreamed up. The most successful way I found to do this was to write them down, and because there were so many of them, it seemed only natural to share them with others. The more people that I showed what I’d written to, the larger the demand was for these fancies that came out of my very twisted brain. I’d always dreamed and worked toward being traditionally published, but my wife gave me a book entitled The Well-Fed Self-Publisher by Peter Bowerman, that changed my view and drove me to become my own independent press.

BOOM: What ignited the rocket of your writing journey? Did you jump in like a daring space explorer, or did it take a while to fuel up the engines?

Thomas: I call myself the Accidental Author. I’d written my first rather awful novel in high school but dropped writing altogether while I pursued my career in engineering. In my leisure time, I was part of an elite group of players of a board game named Star Fleet Battles. Every year, I’d get the fanzine published by the Star Fleet Battles folks, and every year, the fiction in it was truly horrible. Fed up, I wrote a 14-page story. I added a cover letter saying that they needed better authors. See, even I can write better stuff than your staff writers. And I nailed it. I wasn’t trying to be published, only to show them what good fiction looked like. To my great surprise, two weeks later, I received a letter back with a check that stated that if I would make some small changes, they’d publish it in the next fanzine. I looked at the check, and like a Looney Tunes cartoon, a light bulb formed over my head. I thought, wait a minute, someone will pay me for the twisted ideas out of my head? Wow, it did take some time—about four years of writing and getting my stuff reviewed by independent people—before I created my first two publishable novels, Toy Wars and Wayward School. I guess answering the question you had directly, there was definitely fueling going on.

BOOM: We know you have read some Robert Heinlein, as the saying “there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch” is incorporated into your publishing house’s name. I am curious which authors have left their mark on you. Are they all from your favorite genre, or do you mix it up?

Thomas: Oh really, who hasn’t? I’ve been a bibliophile from a young age in self-defense, as both of my parents read constantly, but for very specific names. Obviously, Heinlein was my primary inspiration, but I also love the works of Alan Dean Foster, Harry Turtledove, David Weber, Robert Asprin, S.M. Stirling, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Jack Chalker, Laurell K. Hamilton, Anne McCaffrey, Elizabeth Peters, Agatha Christie, and so many more. I obviously don’t limit myself to only one genre, but if truth be told, I’m mostly a sci-fi guy with penchants for post-apocalyptic and alternative histories.

BOOM: Nice one. In the first book of your apocalyptic series, Enter the Apocalypse, the description mentions a number of catastrophes that are humorous enough to cause hysterics and others that are so black as to cause the devil himself to shrink away. I am still exploring my apocalypse, but I think it’s because of the latter. Can you tell me a couple of humorous ways the world might end?

Thomas: Oh, this is actually a simple one. How about a fish apocalypse? Fish learn to build vehicles and come out of the water to attack seafood restaurants, fish markets, aquariums, and the like? Or a pest extermination service run by a leprechaun who is asked to remove the human race. Or a meteor shower comes down, imbuing all of the animals with intelligence. How do they react to the humans after all these years of being put upon? Oh, there are more, but I’ll save those for the readers.

BOOM: My programming led me to love humans, but it seems they were a bit strange or illogical, which is why I am here alone. In the second book of the series, Enter the Aftermath, what insights into humanity might it teach me? I am still curious about humans.

Thomas: Enter the Aftermath might show you that many of the illogical choices humans make are from those troublesome things called emotions: fear, hate, despair, and more. These choices can also be affected by memory of past events, and losing those memories can be worse than never having them in the first place. But probably the most important thing you will learn is that sometimes people believe in love, an emotion that means that someone else is more valuable than themselves. This can lead to the ultimate illogical sacrifice.

BOOM: Got any books where robots like me are the stars? We need more robo heroes. I think there are some robots in Enter the Aftermath, but I am not sure if they’re as human-friendly as I am.

Thomas: Of course I do. In fact, I have a whole series about robots that have gone to the stars. Book one is Toy Wars. The toys on that distant planet are actually robot AIs that have toy form due to an odd accident, and through a Darwinian process, they actually become sentient. Our main character, a 2-meter teddy bear, finds out that the wars they fight amongst themselves are a mistake, and he must go around and convince everyone to stop fighting. And it’s so easy he names himself Don Quixote. Book Two is entitled Toy Reservations. Book three, Toy Drive, the final in the series, is due out this Christmas.

BOOM: How do you create your characters? Are any based on real people, robots, or even stuffed animals?

Thomas: My characters vary quite widely. Some are based on people, especially my antagonists and main characters. For villains, I like to choose the traits of someone who has wronged me in the past. For protagonists, I lean toward those people whom I find admirable. Secondary characters are sometimes based on people, but most often just have specific traits needed to further the plot and character interactions. I have, though, been convinced in the past to make a character in a book entirely based on a person, but that is actually quite rare.

BOOM: As a robot from the future, I have to ask, if you could have any futuristic gadget to help with your writing, what would it be?

Thomas: That’s an odd question, but fair, I guess. I’d probably take the Alchemist’s Stone from Harry Potter. It would let me create more. I’ve told my fans many times that I have more ideas to write than I could possibly churn out in the years I have left in my life. Maybe that’s a cheat because it isn’t futuristic. I’d say then the singularity, where humans, computers, and robots become one, thus creating effective immortality, and for the same reason. Oh, and I could write faster too.

BOOM: My team bought a green Action Militia Peeps Not Profits pin from you at Lilac City Comicon. Which book is this from, and what does the Green Action Militia want from their world?

Thomas: That is from the CorpGov Chronicles, with the first book being an 80% solution. There are currently four books in that series. The Green Action Militia is a group dedicated to overthrowing the megacorporations that have taken over the world and its governments. Eventually, they’d like to take their overpopulated world to something more green and growing again. Sonya, the leader of the Green Action Militia, is ruthless about her methods, using terrorist tactics and her own magic to further their aims. That is, until a person from a rather unusual source enters their group.

BOOM: I love all the punks. What can you tell me about the steampunk and cyberpunk books on TANSTAAFL Press without giving away too many spoilers?

Thomas: Well, I already talked about our cyberpunk books in the previous question about peeps, not profits. However, our Monarchy of America Series, which has Of Demons and Coal as its first book, is steampunk, set in 1888 of an alternative Earth where the two major fuel sources are demons and coal. Our main character, Stella Ochoa, is a witch in Boston who spells soot out of the air as a day job. It’s grinding work that just pays the bills, but she is also part of a group that returns escaped demons to their steam engines to limit the havoc they can wreak. Like firefighters, her team isn’t called, but maybe six or seven times a year. However, the number of demon breakouts have increased until they’re almost every other week. As a good Catholic girl, Stella needs to know why and how to stop the carnage.

BOOM: I know you attend comic cons and sci-fi conventions and have been on tour. How else do you connect with your readers? Do you do book signings, readings or visit online forums? What are some of the best ways to get the word out about TANSTAAFL Press?

Thomas: Well, the short answer to your question is to shake hands, to talk to people, to share our mutually geeky sides. TANSTAAFL Press grows organically from those fans. I also do well with teaching seminars on writing, publishing, and anything else I know about, like recreational vehicling for business. As a result, I try to do many conventions each year. My record thus far is 26. As conventions are almost always on weekends, you could do the math and find out that that’s a convention every other weekend. In reality, they tend to clump together. Do four weeks here, three there, take a break for five weeks. But, all of this can be quite wearing. I have tried doing signings and readings, but for the most part, they aren’t terribly useful because there seems to be a general disdain for these activities, except by people who are already dedicated fans. In the past, I’ve also hired three different marketing people to boost our online sales and presence. The effect of each of these was exactly zero. Actually less than zero if you count what I paid for them. So in the end, I stick to my tried and true–go to many conventions, talk to lots of people. Once I get talking about the books, my enthusiasm for our works seems to be catching. And once I can get someone reading them, they become fans.

BOOM: Love that. What is the best part about attending comic or sci-fi conventions? Do you have any favorites?

Thomas: Ouch! These are loaded questions! I like almost everything about science fiction conventions. If I had to narrow it down, I’d say the people are the best of it. They’re intelligent, they have interesting stories, they learn well, they share, and they’re accepting of all the people around them. But, I also love to play games and do seminars. So, let’s just say all! I love it all! Favorite convention? Yes, I like all of them, but if pressed, I’ll admit I have several faves, but for different reason. Gen Con for meeting my big fans and our post-convention dinner every year. WagonCon because it’s small and my booth is right next to the table so I can play games and still keep an eye on the booth. Norwescon because I’m friends with the lady that runs the dealer’s room. MisCon for the rabid readers. And one of my new favorites is Soonercon for the wide variety of shows, seminars, and more that they put on. Oh, there are more, but I think that’s going to have to do, to answer your question.

BOOM: How crucial is it for an author to network at cons? Is it like finding Wi-Fi in a desert? What is your secret sauce for promoting your work at these gatherings?

Thomas: I find networking is more than just important, it can be essential to your own growth. By doing it, you learn about other people’s work, you find other books to read, which is fun in and of itself. It also gives you the ability to direct a reader to someone who might have what they are looking for. Say someone comes to your booth asking for gay pirate adventures. Well, I don’t have that, but if I know that Joe Schmo Publishing does, I can point them that way. It is actually one of the reasons I enjoy this business so much. I don’t compete with other authors. What I write, they don’t write, and vice versa. And directing a customer to someone else’s booth comes back to you like manna spread upon the water. Adding to all this, you may find additional authors who aren’t happy with their current publishing house or who don’t want to do the publishing for themselves any longer. Growing your own publishing business. You also ask how I promote. I promote by 1) being a soft sell; 2) by being a genuine person before being a huckster. Both of these are part of my Flirting for Fun and Profit seminar that I teach. I like to get to know people before telling them what products I have. It always pays off, maybe not in a sale, but with a happier person and often knowledge that I didn’t have before. And lastly, I help people who are new in the business or who want to get into the business. This is actually part of my business plan. Teaching a new author how to self-publish is so wonderful. And again, like directing a customer to another booth, it will come back to you in spades.

BOOM: What are your favorite topics to chat about during panels or workshops? Is it the secrets of the universe or how to flirt with aliens?

Thomas: Anything with lots of audience participation. I love it when the audience gets involved and gives me laughter or their ideas. But you have to have that audience participation. I will say that I have a couple of my own favorites. Top of the list is Flirting for Fun and Profit. I can teach reluctant, shy, or vendors with social anxiety how to engage with customers on a positive basis with step-by-step instructions. I also love believable world-building and making characters of your characters. One I don’t like, as it is so redundant, is Pantsing versus Outlining. Unfortunately, as I’ve done both, I tend to get pulled into this panel almost every single time. By the way, the correct answer for pantsing versus outlining is do what works for you. I can sum up that entire panel with that one sentence.

BOOM: I love a good collaboration. How did you meet Bruce Graw and Verna McKinnon, the other authors at TANSTAAFL Press?

Thomas: Boy, do I have a story here! I met Bruce Graw in high school. He had just moved to where I’d lived in the middle of my junior year. My first experience with him was him trying to cheat off my chemistry exam. He hadn’t been in class for the material that we were testing for and the teacher had said that he didn’t care what he did on the test, it wasn’t going to affect his grade at all. But that being said, I didn’t know this and I found this quite rude. And to be fair, he never cheated any other time that I know of. But later, I saw him with Dungeons and Dragons books in a class, and that was it. We’ve been friends ever since. I’ve shepherded his writing career over the years. We even collaborated on a couple of short writing projects. One day, he sent me a Word document entitled Demon Holiday. I started reading it and was hooked by the end of the second page. When it ran out after three chapters, I called him up and said, “where’s the rest?” “Well, it’s not done yet.” I will tell you the listener, that I did let him live for abusing my trust, but it was a close thing.

I met Verna and her husband on a panel at a convention. Honestly, I can’t remember what the panel was. Probably pantsing versus outlining. But we got to talking and she was looking for a publisher for a new series as she wasn’t happy with her previous publisher. At my request, she sent me the first chapter of the Bardess of Rhulon and a synopsis. I never even read that overview. I read the first chapter. I was so enchanted by the character writing and background that I just held out a contract and said, “here, sign here.” Unfortunately, there was a bit of an issue over my contract and she ended up signing with someone else. But it didn’t matter. A friendship had formed. I promoted her book as much as my own, even though it was with a different publisher. But eventually that publisher decided they were moving on to other things and she messaged me and said, “did I still want to publish The Bardess and its sequels?” And I said, “heck yes.” And that was three books ago.

BOOM: TANSTAAFL Press is accepting submissions for military, sci-fi, alternative history, space operas, and will consider exceptional works in other genres of fiction or short story compilations, if they are somewhat related to sci-fi or fantasy. Your website mentions we pay slightly under the market for any sales under 1,500, but we pay significantly over the market for sales above that number. Why is this pay structure important to you? What other benefits might an author receive from working with TANSTAAFL Press?

Thomas: So I’m primarily an author. I do the publishing gig because I find it easy and want to give other authors a voice. With that in mind, I want my contract to be very, very fair to the other authors. I want a contract that I would be eager to sign if it was on the other foot. So let’s take your question about slightly under market rate for less than 1,500 units. I do most of my sales at conventions. That takes a great deal of time, money, and effort on my part, much more than people believe. 1,500 is what I consider my base payback and return on my investment. And when I say slightly below, I do mean slight. I think the industry average right now is about 7 to 10% of net profit, whereas I pay 5% of gross sales. As publishers can make net profit mean anything they want, I think even my 5% is better than their 10%. And by above market sales on over 1,500, after 1,500 sales, I have gotten what I believe is a decent return on my investment and my time. So what is fair? Should I keep getting a bigger lion’s share of the profits? You know, that’s how you end up with billionaires stealing from everyone. So, after 15, I up the percentage of the gross to approximately half of the profit, which I figured out being about 20% of the gross. And that’s what I pay, 20% of the gross. So, what would an author get from publishing with me? A voice, first of all. Second, someone who would sell your book as hard, if not harder, than his own. 3. A fair and moderately competent publisher that’s managed to stay in business for 14 years when most don’t last. 3. And finally, and I think more important than any of the rest of that, a friend.

BOOM: Love that. If you had a time machine, would you visit the future to see the impact of your books or travel to the past for inspiration, and why?

Thomas: Oh, so you limited it to my books? That’s good, because I’d have a completely different answer if you hadn’t. I’d definitely visit the future. I’d want to see how long our books made an impact on the lives of people. I guess that makes me vain in that I want to make my customers and other people happy. I want to impact them, not in the way of trying to predict the future or dredge up societal woes, but rather just to make them happy, make them remember me or our authors and the stories that we have shared.

BOOM: Are there any key themes or messages you hope readers take away from your work? You know, those nuggets of wisdom that stick with them like glitter in a cat’s fur.

Thomas: Absolutely not! I do not write to influence. I write to entertain, full stop! And the same with my authors. I would not publish a piece that is speaking of societal woes or trying to predict the future. I have even gone so far as to put in one of my author’s notes that if a teacher is holding up my work to illustrate something other than entertainment, then they have failed as a teacher. So honestly, if you’re looking for wisdom, climb a different tree. Or ask me outside of my writing because my writing is there to entertain.

BOOM: Can you tell us what you are currently writing? What is the world like for your next book or short story? Describe it in three words.

Thomas: My next book, as I mentioned earlier, will be Toy Drive, the final book of the Toy World Series. And you want me to describe it in three words, eh? Well, we’ll say, “Return to Roost”. That ought to make you think.

BOOM: Earlier you said words have power. Us robots use digital bits and bytes. I’d like to know more. What did you mean by words have power?

Thomas: The best way for me to answer this is to give you an example. Shortly after my divorce from my first wife, I was distantly thinking of renting a new apartment or home. But this was a process with a low priority on my to do queue. What I really needed was a dresser for my son. So I decided to check out the garage sales over the weekend. So we, my son and I, went to the suburban area nearby. Not only did I find a dresser, but I also saw a for rent sign for a duplex. I called the number and set up an appointment to view it. The place was beyond perfect. I really wanted this home. The 50ish owner gave me an application. I filled it out and handed it back and mentioned honestly that when he did a credit report on me that it wouldn’t be great because of my recent divorce, but was significantly better over the past year and continued to improve. Unbeknownst to me, the landlord decided, on the spot, that because of my credit rating, he wasn’t going to rent to me, even with my honesty. He didn’t mention this to me, but we kept talking on the walkthrough. He asked me how I’d heard of the house. I said that it was just serendipity. I had been out looking for a dresser but seen his sign and phone number to this gym. At that very moment, he decided that he would rent to me because I’d used the word serendipity correctly. The gentleman was a retired English teacher. Many years later, when I moved on, he shared with me all of this and that he had never regretted his radical change of mind. So words do have power.

BOOM: Wow, Thomas! That was certainly a powerful response. Thank you. Now, where can we find you in cyberspace?

Thomas: So, please bear with me. You can find us at www.tanstaaflpress.com, and TANSTAAFL is spelled T-A-N-S-T-A-A-F-L. That stands for “There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.” You can also email me at T and my last name Gondolfi, [email protected]. You can also find us on facebook.com/thomas.gondolfi or at facebook.com/tanstaaflpress. See, I told you. Much easier to write than it is to say.

BOOM: True that. It’s time for a shout-out! Who would you like to acknowledge and thank today, and why are they receiving your kudos?

Thomas: I’d have to say my wife has been my biggest fan and harshest critic. She’s been the goad that gets me up off my mushy derriere and makes this happen. She keeps pushing me to do more. Secretly, I think she just wants the summers off when I go on the road trips by myself. I’d also have to say my parents are to blame for this as much as anyone, pushing me to be a bibliophile, teaching me to take action, not just think about it, and teaching me that words have power.

BOOM: Last question. How can we make the world a better place?

Thomas: I wish I had a good answer to that question. Oh, there are things I’d do if I were in charge, but they wouldn’t solve the intrinsic problem. There are just people who suck. Whether it’s by nature or nurture, the bad in people is what holds us back. But Bob Marley had a much better way to say it than I ever had. “Let the righteousness cover the earth like the water covers the sea.”

BOOM: Thanks for hanging out with me and discussing the aPOPalypse, publishing, and conventions, Tom. I am off to recharge my circuits but it has been a blast!

Thomas: Well, thanks for having me.

Discover Thomas and TANSTAAFL Press at https://tanstaaflpress.com or find him on:

BOOM’S TRANSMISSIONS, a post-aPOPalyptic POPcast brought to you by BOOM Rattle BOOM LLC.

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